Frequent Citations

Friday Spies© Catching Up

It's a Friday Spies Retrospective at BTQ this week, so I thought I'd answer the ones I missed last week when I was busy doing something, I forget what, maybe moving?

1. What's your favorite cheese?

Trick question. Anyone who's seen Wallace and Gromit knows the answer is Wensleydale. It's quite good, especially with cranberries in it. Yummmm.

2. Cheesy movie: If you were in Top Gun, what would your call sign be?

Mario.

3. Big cheese: Tell us a boss story -- best boss, worst boss, a time when you were the boss, etc.

I had a boss who gave me not one but two bottles of Dom Perignon for Christmas. An exquisite year for it too. The same boss had a semi-senile father who came into the office from time to time and did... inappropriate things. He got disgusting mail too (the father did). So that boss scored two in one.

I make an excellent boss, myself. I demand only instant and unquestioning obedience and perfection.

4. Say cheese: Are you a photobug? Are you photogenic? Or, in 1000 words or less, tell us about your best picture.

I am as unphotogenic as it's possible to be. Truly, the camera HATES me. The situation only slightly improved when I lost dozens of pounds.

5. Just cheesy: What's the worst pick-up line you've ever used, or had used on you? Did it work?

My daughter's response: "If you were a burger at McDonald's, I'd call you McBeautiful"... that or "You must be exhausted because you've been running around in my head all day." None of them work on her.

Friday Spies in a Fascist Police State

Via the charming and urbane BTQ gentlemen:

1. What five things should you never buy used?

1. lingerie
2. vodka
3. what
4. else
5. matters?

2. Sony BMG just ended a payola investigation by settling with New York Attorney General Elliot Spitzer. So let's engage in some reverse payola: What song or artist would you pay to never have to hear again, and how much would it be worth to you?

Kenny G or Yanni, the choice would be difficult. I'd pay millions.

3. In honor of the new Bad News Bears: Did you ever play little league, or other organized youth sports?

My hand-eye coordination = 0. I have exactly none. I'm not sure if this was the cause or result of not playing organized sports as a kid. However, since my mother was a ballerina and taught dance I took years and years of dance classes. This means that I may be an uncoordinated klutz, but I am a strong uncoordinated klutz.

4. What was your biggest fashion faux pas?

Tomato pants, and they weren't my fault. THL knows what I'm talking about. Or there was the time I wore a slip to school because I thought it was a dress. Hey, I was 6 and it made a perfect nurse uniform.

5. In honor of all our readers who took the Bar Exam this week: What was the hardest test you ever took?

Besides this one? The LSAT was grueling, no doubt. Not only because it's long and boring, but because so much (the future of my entire family, honor, and glory) rides on that one exam.

On the other hand, at least I didn't have a migraine the way I did when I took my SAT years and years ago. The English section was first and I was okay through most of it, but by the time I got to the math section the page was blurring in front of me and I was trying not to vomit. I have a string of test scores from high school that all look pretty similar except for this one glaring hideous BOMB of a score.

It would have scarred me for life, except that it ended up not mattering at all. The weird thing is that I had to do placement testing for 9th grade and also had a migraine during that placement test. They put me in 6th grade level math. Heh.

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This post was made from the Land of Fox News.

We're going to be zooming all over town this morning. I have big plans for the pool and festive beverages this afternoon.

Friday Spies© It's All About Me and My Blog

Your weekly entertainment from the BTQ gents:

1. Why did you start blogging?

I had nothing better to do with my time. I wanted to find a way to keep my family and friends informed of my trials and tribulations fun adventures in law school, when I probably won't have oodles of time to write emails or make calls. I don't do either of those things enough now, but I feel guilty about it. Blogging helps alleviate the guilt. (Catholic upbringing: we do guilt very well.)

It's also, of course, an interesting way to keep a journal. I'd like to have a record of what I noticed and thought important or interesting enough to talk about, although there are certain issues I won't discuss much if at all no matter how important they are.

2. Are the reasons you blog now the same as when you started? If not, what's changed?

Frequent Citations has now become a tool in my plan for world domination. The main reasons I blog are still the same. One thing I really didn't expect was getting regular readers who are strangers to me. Note to said readers: I love you. However, I write the same stuff whether I think anybody's going to read it or not. Mostly.

3. What would make blogging better for you?

World-wide fame and glory. A super fast internet connection at home. More comments. Chocolate every time I post.

4. Do you have comments on your blog? Why or why not? Do you comment on other blogs? What motivates you to post a comment?

I do have comments on my blog -- please don't be shy! I enabled comments at the beginning because I wanted the aforementioned friends and family to be able to leave me messages such as "Good luck with your exams," or "Boy got an A on his Physics test," or "Who are you again, and why do we care?"

Not only do I comment on other blogs, I expound, pontificate, and rant on other blogs. My victims know who they are, and I apologize.  Sometimes I comment because someone brings up an interesting topic, or one I happen to know a little something about (not always the same thing). Other times I'll comment because a post made me laugh and I want to let the author know that. I try not to comment if all I'm going to say is some variation of "me too," but sometimes I'll even do that.

I think comments are one of the truly great aspects of blogging because they allow conversations to develop and connections to be made. I've learned a lot from the comments left on my own blog and those I've read on other blogs.

5. What is your philosophy of the blogroll?

I should be at the top of everyone's blogroll. I try to reciprocate when someone lists me on their blog roll. On the other hand, I tend to put blogs on there that I actually take the time to read on a fairly regular basis, so I won't list every random law/law student/what-have-you blog I come across. Also, as you can see, I like to have a little section for the random and intriguing blogs I sometimes find. This selection changes a bit from time to time.

Friday Spies© : Living and Dying in 3/4 Time Edition

Rats, Frolics and Detours beat me to the punch.

Some weeks late, some weeks early, the BTQ Boys always come through with the questions.

Let's waltz.

1. What time do you go to bed? What time do you wake up?

Bedtime varies, but almost never before midnight. Once in a long while I'll be completely wiped out (or sick) and go to bed around 10 or 11. I wake up around 5:30 or 6, except for today when I slept in because I'm not at work. Yay.

2. What do you want done to/with your body after you die?

Massive funeral pyre. Then the ashes can be put in a fancy vase and worshipped by my heirs in their gratitude for all the money I leave them.

3. Describe your dream house.

One someone else cleans.

4. Are you an excellent driver? Do you speed, or drive the speed limit? Ever been ticketed?

Within a few weeks of getting my license my brothers christened my "Mario." That would be after Mario Andretti, race car drive extraordinaire, for some of you who might be too young or not enough into cars to know.

The youngest of my brothers taught me most of what I know about driving. I drive a stick shift; one of my favorite activities is driving a performance car down a hilly and winding road. Kris accuses me of taking corners on two wheels, but that's a nasty lie.

Have I been ticketed? Ummmm, DUH! Not often, though. Also, although this does reveal a boring soccer-mom side of me, I will confess that I slowed WAY down after I had kids. Even when they aren't in the car with me. Something about not wanting to orphan them, I think.

However, I have NEVER driven an SUV, minivan, or station wagon. As I told TFL, over my dead body would I get one of those.

5. What is your favorite animal, mineral, and vegetable?

My favorite animal would be my husband, The Fearless Leader. (He has a lot in common with The Hot Librarian: they're both tall, blond, hot, and have 2 of the same initials.)

My favorite mineral: K. Just because.

My favorite vegetable is completely obvious: Chocolate!

Friday Spies© Diet Caffeine Free

You know you're short of caffeine when you're waiting for the light to change so you can cross the street and suddenly you realize: it changed a while ago and is about to change back.

Without further ado, from BTQ:

1. Tropical Storm Cindy and Hurricane Dennis are causing trouble in the Southeast this week. Share a natural disaster story.

When I was little we lived in Mexico. Our parents decided to take us to a great resort - there were all kinds of natural springs feeding pools of different temperatures in sheltered grottos. Quite exotic. There was a huge stone totem pole type thing at the entrance, a Mayan artifact I think.

One night, I woke up and heard a really loud roaring sound. I looked up at the ceiling, and the light was swinging wildly. I'm thinking, cool. Then my mother was standing in the doorway, frantically calling my name. I wasn't sure why she was so concerned, but I reassured her and by then I think the roaring and shaking had stopped and she went back to bed.

The next day when we left we drove by the stone totem pole and it was broken off at the base. I forget what the earthquake measured, maybe my mother will tell you, but it was impressive. When you're three or four years old, I guess it doesn't occur to you that the roof could fall in on you.

2. What is your favorite work of art?

Ha. No way could I answer this. There are too many. But I'll tell you about one or two that I've seen that were amazing.

When I was in Paris, impressionist and modernist painters were still in the Jeu de Pomme and the Tuilleries. Yes, a long time ago. Anyway, moving on, I was walking through them one day and came upon van Gogh's "Church at Auvers." The paint is laid on so thickly, in so many vibrant shades of blue, that the painting absolutely shimmers. I've never seen anything like it before or since.

Also while there, a Vermeer exhibit came to down. There were other painters too - Rembrandt and whoever - but there was only one painting that dominated the whole exhibit, despite it's small size. There are a rare few paintings that are alive, and this was one: Vermeer's "Portrait of a Girl with a Pearl Earring." It is remarkable and, to my eye, much finer than the Mona Lisa that everyone else is so gaga about.

I also love the portrait of Lady Hamilton by Gainsborough that's in the Frick, and many of the other paintings there, and of course GirlChild's work.

3. Do you squeeze the toothpaste tube from the middle or the bottom?

Bottom.

4. What is your favorite "cult" film?

Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Or The Princess Bride. Unless you mean a movie about cults, in which case Dogma. What do you mean, the Catholic Church isn't a cult?

5. Would you go into space if given the chance? Where would you go?

I'm not sure about this. Do I get to check the O-rings before I go?

Eh, I probably would. Even if only to orbit Earth, it's so beautiful from space. Going other places? Who knows?

Friday Spies© Intergalactic Commands

Whoot! Milbarge take it away!

1. Is Tom Cruise correct that we're not alone in the universe?

Who would know better? Isn't he an alien himself?

You're not alone. You're never alone. All right, break's over.

2. What is a fashion trend that you would like to see go away, and what is a fashion you would like to see come back in style?

Ladies, stop wearing pants down around the middle of your butt: nobody wants to see those rolls of fat hanging out. Not a good look.

Gents should wear spats. And boiled shirts. Heh.

3. I was going to ask what city will win next week's vote on the host of the 2012 Olympics, but everyone knows it's going to be Paris, so I decided to tweak it: What city that you have visited (or lived in) would be a good Olympic host city, and why?

I've lived in Paris and it would be a fan-freaking-tastic place to have the Olympics. Has been, will be. Do you s'pose I've got time to become a top-flight sports attorney by then so that I have an excuse to bum around Paris for a few weeks?

I've lived in Mexico City too, also a good choice. I think New York would be fine too. But I'd like to see the Olympics come to Chicago. It would be great: hideous weather, not a hill for miles to make for exciting marathons and bicycle events, and woefully inadequate public transportation.

Why hasn't Daley jumped all over this already?

4. Happy Canada Day to our readers in the Great White North! In light of that holiday, and our own upcoming Independence Day, tell us your favorite Independence Day memory. (And yes, those of you in other nations can use whatever national holiday you celebrate.)

My least favorite memory is easy -- that would be the year the kids and I almost got trampled by the crowd after the fireworks. Brutal.

I love Independence Day. In part because of the fireworks, because fire! Loud noise! Pretty colors! Ohhh. Ahhh. And in part because I know I have ancestors who were hanging out in Boston a couple of hundred years ago, partying and throwing tea off a ship. I always think of them fondly around this time of year.

There were a few years when one of my brothers and I traded off, one year at his house and one at mine, doing our best to set our neighborhoods on fire. Those were good times.

5. The Supreme Court ruled this week on one set of commandments, but we want to hear yours. What are the Ten Commandments of [X]? Pick a topic and reveal its ten most important rules. Phrasings with "shalt" appreciated but not required.

The FC Ten Commandments:

1. Thou shalt play with all your heart, all your mind, all your strength, and thou shalt have no other priority before play.
2. Thou shalt not stiff thy waitress nor thy bartender.
3. Thou shalt buy rounds of drinks more often than it is thy turn.
4. Thou shalt deal in good faith with all others, that your days may not be cut short.
5. Thou shalt be moderate in all aspects of thy life, including moderation.
6. Thou shalt fold when thou art given sucky cards.
7. Thou shalt not gloat when thou winnest at cards, nor shalt thou taunt thy opponents. Not too much, anyway.
8. Thou shalt do thy part when working with thy comrades.
9. Thou shalt vote, lest all the fires of hell overtake thee when thou complainest of the state of the world.
10. Thou shalt be true to thine own self.

Um, those are the sorts of commandments you get from me when I'm rolling into work after a long hard night on the town. I'm sure you could do better.

Friday Spies© Anaphora

Your weekly favorite: five irrelevant questions.

1. What's your favorite season?

Yes? Truly, I love all the seasons. What I missed most when we lived in Florida was having real changes of season. That, and not having flying cockroaches. Urgh.

I love autumn when the golden afternoon sun lights up the colored trees and gilds the world. I love winter with deep snowfalls hushing the city and making for great skiing. I love spring when my garden bursts into riotous color and the scent of growth is in the air. I love summer (when it's not too hot) when the trees are emerald and the berries ripen in the sun.

2. Do you have a green thumb?

Oh yeah.

3. What is your favorite sport to watch? What is your favorite sport to play? Do you have a sports hero?

Equestrian events are probably my favorite to watch, or they would be if they were ever on tv when and where I could see them. Otherwise, it's really hard to beat a football game. You've got your drama, your strategy, your brute force, your finesse, your heros and villains. It's war on the field, full of the unpredictable.

I wouldn't say that you "play" skiing, but it's my favorite sport to do. It was the first one I ever tried that I didn't fail at spectacularly. I have no hand-eye coordination whatsoever, but I do have balance and I live for speed.

A sports hero? There are so many, but I can't say that any one in particular springs to mind.

4. Which would you rather be: Mayor, Governor, Senator, or President?

Ruler of the Universe.

5. What are ten must-own items for single men and single women?

How would I know? Have I ever been single? Wait, when has inexperience stopped me from having an opinion?

For da guys:

1. The Joy of Cooking. The list is right - you have to know how to cook, and this book will teach you everything you need to know for the basics and then some. Whether you're feeding yourself or trying to impress a girl, you should know how to cook.
2. One really good suit and tie. I don't care if you're a day laborer, you should be able to look totally spiffy when necessary.
3. White cotton dress shirt(s) to go with the suit. White. Cotton. Yes, you have to iron it.
4. Books. It's not enough to have the huge tv and every video game known to man -- you must be literate. Comic books don't count, unless they're Asterix and Obelix (preferably in a foreign language) or Get Fuzzy.
5. A car, and a good one. Unless you live in New York City.
6. Gee, I don't know, supplies?
7. See numbers 4-6 below. Yes, I'm cheating. Deal with it.

For Da Gals:

1. A little black dress.
2. Kickin' shoes.
3. The Joy of Cooking because you need to eat too.
4. A job. If you're lucky enough to be independently wealthy, then work as a volunteer. But be responsible for something.
5. A hobby. Be interesting. If you bore yourself, you're boring to everyone else too.
6. A library card. Owning books is not a bad idea for you, either. A five-year collection of Vogue is nice, but it doesn't count.
7. A voter registration card. Who knows who you might meet at jury duty?
8. A really good mechanic if you own a car.
9. Everything you need for self-protection. Including a bodygaurd, if possible.
10. Um... chocolate?

Friday Spies© Early Birds

Swiped from Divine A., who got it first. BTQ, where are you?

1. Which relationship will last longer, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie ("Brangelina"), or Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes ("TomKat")?

Well, gosh, this implies that neither relationship is a permanent one, a demonstration of "twoo love." I'm shocked.

2. Less importantly, which will have nuclear bombs first, North Korea or Iran?

Iraq. Didn't you know they already have WMD? Oh yeah, we never did find any...

3. What is your dream car?

Growing up with four older brothers, I heard a lot of car talk. I also learned to drive like a race car driver. My dream car is a Lamborghini.

So sweet.

4. What book have you read the most times?

The Little Engine that Could. It was my kids' favorite. For my own interest? Hmm. Probably the Iliad.

5. Are you a matchmaker?

The one time I encouraged someone to go out it ended in disaster (in my opinion). So, no.

Friday Spies© Pop Pop Pop Culture

From those pop-culture metrosexual kings at BTQ:

1. What is the earliest movie you remember watching in the theater?

Probably Fantasia. I remember waiting, and waiting, and waiting for dialogue. The part with the brooms was pretty cool.

2. If you could strike one word from the English language, which word would you choose and why?

Dentist? Banana? Last call? Those are pretty bad words.

I'd strike one phrase, the three most dangerous words in the world: "God told me." How much harm has been done with those three little words ? It's amazing to me how God always seems to tell people to maim, steal, and kill in his name -- whatever name is being used.

For every saint who hears a message of love and peace, how many hundreds or thousands hear a message of hate and violence?

Sorry, Mom and Dad. You are too rare.

3. If you were a superhero, what would be your kryptonite?

Chocolate, obviously. It's both the source of my superpowers and my greatest weakness. I'm complicated that way.

4. Would you rather win an Emmy, Grammy, Tony, Golden Globe, Oscar, Pulitzer, or Noble Prize? What work would you win it for?

I suppose my goal of world domination means the Nobel Peace Prize is not going to happen. Darn. However, the pen being mightier than the sword and all that, I think the Pulitzer would be a good substitute.

On second thought, I'm going to win the Nobel Peace Prize after all for my solution to the Jerusalem mess. Give it to the Buddhists. I think that the sacrilege of spilling so much blood over a piece of ground has removed any holiness it may have had; take it away from all those silly people* who fight over it instead of doing something constructive and give it to a neutral party.

I am now bracing myself for hate mail from any Jew, Christian, or Muslim reading my itty bitty blog. I've probably offended them all twice now, and it only took four questions to do it!

5. What is your catch phrase? Don't have one? Then make one up!

Failure. As in: "You didn't bring me chocolate? Failure!"

Contrary to some people's opinion, my catch phrase is NOT "It's all Greek to me."

*Now look, I understand that feelings run deep about this sort of thing. However, see my answer for question #2 for what I think of people who use religion as a reason for war. More understandable and defensible to me is the issue of people who are fighting to preserve their rights to their private property. I'd be awfully ticked off if someone tried to bulldoze my garden or threw a bomb into my garage to get me to move away.

Edit: I would LOVE to win the Noble Prize, especially the Neon one. Hee hee hee. Or maybe Radon. See what happens when you trustingly cut and paste? I'm amazed I didn't spell it that way in my post.

Friday Spies Play Along Version

This week, BTQ is taking questions from the readers and making everyone answer.

1. From Janie Q: "How about your favorite tv show when you were a kid, and why hasn't it been remade into a movie, or if it has, how was that movie, or maybe it shouldn't be remade at all?"

See, I can't answer this question because I didn't have a tv when I was growing up. That's right, no tv.

However, when I was all growed up I got pregnant (imagine! who knew?) and was put on bed rest for three (3!) months. Ye gods. There were only so many books my husband could lug home from the library, and regular daytime tv makes me retch, but I discovered one of those cheapie channels that had reruns of ancient shows for a couple of hours in the afternoon. We had this tiny black and white tv that someone had given us, then we splurged on a tv at a garage sale or something for around $25.

Anyway, in about 3 months I felt I had filled a certain gap in my knowledge of pop culture. At least I can now identify Gilligan's Island, I Dream of Jeannie, and Bewitched. I think Bewitched was my favorite, because I so want to wiggle my nose and have those blasted dishes washed.

Was it remade into a movie? No idea.

2. Stag asks: "Tell us about your favorite vacation or your fav place to go on vacation."

Welcome back, Stag! My mom's family had a cottage on a river in the back of beyond. We would go there for a week most summers; no radio, no tv (like that was anything new, see above), no neighbors. Just us, a pile of games, and the river. It was fantastic. I learned to fish and clean fish but never did learn to like eating fish. It was a time to be lazy, watch the river rise when it rained the whole week, get some time with my dad who otherwise was usually pretty occupied.

I love travel, can't wait to get back to Paris, and enjoy adventures; for pure relaxation, however, it's hard to beat a week on the water.


3. Soup inquires: "Are you a fan of Get Fuzzy?"

Get Fuzzy is sometimes the only reason I get up in the morning. Dang kids won't bring the paper to me. Useless.


4. Sebastian Haff (a BTQ fan) has a burning desire to know: "[Which] celebrities [do] you think are most likely to pose in Playboy and why[?]"

Er. Um. Not something to which I've given much thought. Also, a little hard for me to say who has already done it. For instance, the obvious would be Brittany Spears, but surely she's already posed? Or perhaps the new and slimmed down Kirstie Alley? Nothing there I'd want to see, but that's just me.

However, I wouldn't mind seeing... him, him, or him.


5. Energy Spatula gets to the heart of the matter with the final question for the week: "Why don't you write about which one [Fitz-Hume or Milbarge] is a huge liar?"

Hmm. How would I possibly know? Would it be Fitz, with his barrage of salsas? Or Milbarge the Mysterious? Wait, why can't they both be huge liars? Is there not room enough in this blogging world of ours for 2 huge liars?

Okay, there you go. My answers to 5 more random questions.