The Profession

September 11, 2007

Recurring Nightmares

Once in a while I'll have the same dream (with very minor variations) several times in a row. Not several nights in a row--I'll have the same dream several times within the span of a few hours or even, once, in the span of about 20 minutes. It's as though the dream is on a loop, and just keeps playing.

Today is the day judges can start calling applicants for clerkships. The judges call, and you schedule an interview for next week. There's a bit of "strategery" involved, because applicants want to schedule interviews so that their preferred judges are early and second choices are later. Once you're given an offer, the protocol is that you take it and promptly cancel the rest of your interviews. I've only applied to a  small handful of judges, all here, and I'd be thrilled to get a call from any of them.

Last night I dreamed, repeatedly, that today was over and there had been no calls.

Today I will struggle to get done the 6 million things that need to get done yesterday, and I will watch the clock. Tick, tick, tick.

UPDATE:  I did get a call.

June 18, 2007

Golf: Or, I Am Not A Sweet Young Thing

I attended a golf clinic today. Learning how to play golf at least well enough to play a round with others is one of my goals in life. So I went to this clinic in order to get started. TFL had taken me to the driving range once or twice, but aside from knowing that you hit (or try to hit) the ball with the fat end of the stick I really didn't know anything.

Now I (sort of) know how to hold it and know a few of the things I'm doing wrong, one or two things I'm doing right, and that I need tons of practice. I picked most of this up from the general words the instructor said at the beginning of the session. He spent most of his time with the various pretty girls in attendance, sparing me a few desultory (and blatantly inaccurate) "nice swings." But he also told me I was turning my wrists wrong. Maybe that will help.

Anyway, I liked hitting the balls, and a few times I actually got some distance on them. (They got up in the air and went more than 20 yards--that counts.)

June 16, 2007

(Punk) Hair Poll

I am conducting a poll. For those of you who know me (or know what I look like):

Should I let my streak revert to white?

Currently it is red. I've always had a ton of red in my hair, and I'm neither punk nor goth. But it turns out that people see the streak of red in my hair and assume (never mind the conservative clothes or advanced age or generally quiet demeanor) that I'm punk. I was astonished when I realized this perception people had, believe me! My hair started to turn white when I was barely 19, and for years I looked like a skunk. So I decided to cover the white, and yes--it probably took at least 5 years off my age.

Anyway. I don't really want people to think I'm punk. That's not really my thing. So, what do you say?

May 08, 2007

Go Ask, Young Woman

Something really struck me at one of those indistinguishable 1L lunch panels last year: men generally do not hestitate to barge in and talk to professors or partners. Thus, they hook up with great mentors. Thus, they are set on the path of success. Women don't want to intrude, don't want to be a bother, don't want to be rejected.

If you never ask, you're never told no. Of course, you never hear yes, either. Or please come in and chat, or hey how about going to the basketball game tonight, or I would love to write a letter of recommendation for you.

Women in law and law school are frustrated by the lack of female professors and partners--and rightly so, I think. But I suspect that some professors are frustated at not getting the chance to help some of their female students, who maybe don't get up the nerve to just ask for that Letter. It took me long enough, but at least I did it. Letters 1, 2, and 3 are tentatively lined up, though there's a strong chance that one or two of those will disappear when they see my transcript.

In other news: still no place to live, my godson gets confirmed tonight (hi HTM! Your card is on its way.), its muggy in the Green Lounge but I'm freezing in the library, and I still haven't written my dang-blasted paper.

May 05, 2007

Clearly, My Mistake

I was innocently trying to track down a news story about the LA immigration march/protest/police debacle (SOP for LAPD, it would seem), so I clicked over to CNN where I saw this story.

Ah, the Mommy Wars. Here we go again.

Usually, I try to stay out of them. TFL and I made our decisions and tried to make them work for us. Here we are all these years later and both Boy and GirlChild are headed toward outstanding schools but, much more importantly, they have good relationships with us and are generally healthy and happy. TFL is well-respected and successful in his field. I am, for all my self-deprecation, at a top national law school and an editor on the law review with a great job in my future. Clearly, I have chosen a dangerous and deluded path to follow with my (current) husband--or so some would say.

". . . she argues that many young mothers have forgotten Friedan's message, embracing a 21st-century version of the 1950s stay-at-home ideal that could imperil their economic future as well as their happiness."

My economic future is in peril; I could, after all, be hit by a bus or a crippling disease at any moment. Barring that, and possibly even in spite of that, I'll still have a long and flourishing career at The Firm. You see, I am perfectly willing to be paid obscene amounts of money by corporations who are putting everything on the line in a lawsuit; I am also perfectly willing to put everything on the line myself on behalf of my marriage and family. Clearly, I am foolish and short-sighted.

Now it is a fact that over the years far too many women were clueless about the family finances and found themselves in a serious pickle because of it. Tsk, of course. (Never mind that TFL is, himself, a bit unclear about the state of our finances at any given time.) But maybe you have a choice in life: you can risk your money or your marriage. And you can stay home with your kids or drop them at the sitter's. But whether you're a man or a woman, those are choices you're going to make if you decide to marry and have children. It's up to you to decide what is right for you, and what you believe in. Just don't make the mistake of thinking that what's right for you is right for everyone.

Don't make the mistake of thinking that there's only an upside and never a downside. Friedan was frustrated up to her eyeballs because she saw self-destructive behavior in her peers who put on blinders and did what what was done rather than face reality and take responsibility. Fair enough. So take off the blinders and take responsibility. If one spouse stays home with kids, there will be less total economic security and the spouse staying at home is putting a heck of a lot of trust in the spouse who is working. If both parents work, the children will have less time with one or the other of their parents and, probably, more economic security.

I'll let others write the paeans to home moms and work moms. Whatever. People have to make choices, and sometimes they have a lot of choices and sometimes they just don't. Working is better than starving. Again and again I find myself saying, it's a complicated world. And, clearly, love and trust are harder to quantify and  more dangerous to rely upon than money and cynicism.

I found a man I trusted with my future, and who trusted me with his children. It worked for us. But go ahead and tell me I am an idiot. Please, feel free to tell me that I have cut short my earning potential by a good 15 years. (Although at least I am not only going to law school to scope out a good wealth-maximizer to marry so I can stay at home and have children and waste my expensive education that could have gone to some man who would have made better use of it--a tirade for another time.) Clearly, I'll be listening hard as I go to my son's honor banquet and admire my daughter's latest amazing photograph and seek comfort in TFL's arms when law school gets to be Too Much (that would be every day).

You're right: I won't be listening. Because I--from the school that brought you Law and Economics, where we only talk about incentives and rational actors--I think money and cynicism are worthless when it comes to calculations about love and trust. My professors think I'm bonkers.

 

May 04, 2007

Letters And Grades

Some days, you pack in a full day before 8 am. Today was one of those days. But, I still have to line up my letters of recommendation for clerkships. To do that I have to show the profs my resume and (gasp) my grades. One of the profs I'd like to ask knows me pretty well and seems to like me, but he doesn't know what he gave me an one exam... I've been putting this off because, as someone so wisely said, tomorrow is another day. Unfortunately, I think today is the deadline.

I also need to apply for student loans.

April 13, 2007

My Life In Meeting Minutes

In the week and a half since Board Elections I have been in more meetings than I had been for the entire previous two years. Or so it has seemed--and I don't have it nearly as bad as some others. They aren't all LR related, although some are triggered by it.

They do all take time and organization, thought before and after, and a certain amount of waiting around thinking "I could be working on . . ." I've started to jot down notes from the meetings in my calendar or I'd never remember anything that was said. It's convenient, but not ideal. I'm considering reloading OneNote but I despise the amount of memory it takes, and the way it barges in on everything you do. Suggestions?

My most recent notes contain only questions: why do we do this? Why is the procedure that? What's our goal here?

April 10, 2007

The Oracle Hath Muttered

It didn't go quite as badly as I had expected. He didn't (quite) crumple my transcript in disgust, he didn't tell me I'd be fortunate to clerk in a traffic court. All told, guarded optimistic about my chances of clerking somewhere--maybe. It's a bit hard to tell, really.

At any rate, I suppose I'll continue the effort. It seems prudent. The experience, should lightening strike and better qualified candidates apply elsewhere, would be phenomenal.

The irony: I'm to apply to the judge to whom I owe the Paper That Is Ruining My Life. You know those topics that you just don't get, you just can't seem to hook your mind around? She's a world-wide leading expert in the topic, and I'm supposed to write a paper on it.

Hmm. Something about this situation is hideously funny and downright frightening. I can identify the hideous and the frightening, but the funny is eluding me.

I believe I shall now go write the charming little five page paper on one of my favorite subjects and think about the twenty five page paper for Clerkship Opportunity tomorrow. It is, I've been told, another day.

February 22, 2007

At Once Odd And Terrifying

We had the Clerkship Meeting today. About half the class was packed into the room, so about 100 students, and only a quarter of us on Law Review. How many times did the Clerkship Guru mention the importance of not just Law Review, but Managing Board of the Law Review? I totally lost count.

The worst: watching someone else on Law Review nod happily when the Guru assured us that someone in the room would be clerking on the Supreme Court within the next few years, and that person would have an A average (there's no grade inflation here, so that actually means something) and be on the Managing Board. It was a wretched sight.

The whole process is bizarre. But it won't really start for another month, and right now the only thing I can do is try to get my Comment in publishable shape. So I'm going to go do that now.

October 30, 2006

Hail, Hail, The Dings Are All Here

The last slim envelope arrived today. All offers and rejections are now accounted for, and it's time to make some decisions.

I've narrowed it down to three firms, two cities.

But I think I know where I'm going to go. It'll be good. I'm glad they like me.

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