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February 10, 2010



You're so right about the value and struggle of any long marriage. I feel bad for people who feel it is all disposable.


I love this post and this is probably my favorite line: "It's worth the "for worse."" So very true, and I look forward to finding it even more true as the years go on.


Amen, sister.


Very well said, my darling daughter. Your father is STILL the most fascinating, handsome, funny, delightful, affectionate and infuriating man I know or can imagine. Fifty four years worth. Flowers, earrings, and lunch out for my birthday!


For me, the "for worse" part is not the crisis times. During those times, we tend to pull together, united as a team. For me the "for worse" times are when I'm just not feeling the love/romance for my spouse. When I think about leaving hourly. When he irritates the bejesus out of me. (I never irritate him because I am always gracious and moderate and kind and delusional.) I stay during the "for worse" because of a little thing I like to call "commitment." And also, faith that we'll get through this. Faith that the day will come again when he makes me laugh so hard I snort. Faith in the man I married --even if I don't quite see him right at that second. Fourteen years now and during all of those times that AREN'T "for worse," I'm just crazy about him.


I agree, the little daily irritations put more stress on the relationship than the crises that remind you how important you are to each other, how much you need each other. Faith and commitment sure help -- or, as my mother once said, the secret is knowing there's no way out.

E. McPan

My husband left me a couple of weeks ago. Apparently, I was "the worse."


Oh E., I am so very sorry to hear that. And after following your blog for years, I just flat refuse to believe that you were "the worse," as you say. You've always struck me as a person of considerable charm, imagination, and strength of character. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

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