Frequent Citations

Omaha! Omaha! Hut!

How approporiate that the last AI auditions, right before the Super Bowl, are in Omaha. One assumes this was all arranged in honor of Peyton Manning's calls, right? Of course.

I must say I love Jennifer's dress, with that wild black and white print. Sharp.

Quaid is Keith's PAST, man. Sorta. It's kind of neat that his mom toured with Keith. The boy cannot sing runs, though, and the judges all nail him for it. I agree with Keith that he has raw talent. He needs more time but the judges pass him through.

Madisen--why, why that spelling? She has to sing Carrie Underwood. She's so smiley and she does have a good voice, but she's too young. GUESS how old! Correct, 15. Send her back for some more living, and she could be great.

Alyssa is kind of hilarious, she seems like someone who would be a ton of fun to hang out with, and I bet she knows a lot of fun songs. She doesn't stand out for her talent, to me.

Tyler gets a second chance and goes blank. But he does come up with something, and changes HCJ's mind. But then HCJ questions his own mind change. Yes, Harry, you should have gone with your first instinct.

The presidential imitator is a riot.

Tyler Marshall sings Proud Mary, which is a fantastic song that is nearly impossible to sing. Now, I have an aversion to people breathing in the middle of a phrase, but the judges don't seem to be annoyed, and they love his personality, and on he goes. 

CJ Jones has a voice that's way bigger and smoother than I would have expected. And he can sing with HCJ goofing off next to him, which is impressive. He's not my favorite CJ of the competition, but he's decent.

Dajontae (don't get me started, that's his name) is truly a cutie pie. No idea if he can really sing because we get just a few seconds. Dylan Becker is sandwiched in with him, and seems pretty talented. 

Paula Hunt sings for the Air Force. Who knew? She sings Etta James, yay, and lets the silences be where they need to be. Nice. Awww, and she's here for her mom, who got MS. Awwww. HCJ even approves of her runs, which I think is the first time he's ever done that. Aww, they show her mom. Tears.

Andrina is from Fargo. Woodchipper, anyone? Eh? She's --oh wow. She sings Beyonce, but she sings it and doesn't just imitate what's on the radio. HCJ says she's way better than average, Keith says she just needs exposure. I'm leaning toward Keith being correct. A little exposure beyond rural ND and she might flourish.

Casey sings nicely. The judges gush. I'm... waiting for more. 

Tessa sings Fulsom Prison. It's another great song, and she certainly doesn't sound like Johnny Cash. She does sing like an old-time country singer. But AI rewards the pop-country singers, so I have my doubts.

I like Brandina best, and JLo's dress. I want that dress. 

Salt Lake, Salty Tears

AI auditions in Salt Lake City this week. And it started with a bang, or rather with Austin Wolfe. What an interesting voice. And she's from Park City!

Kylee is a lumberjack. Talk about playing against stereotype, aside from looking wholesome and outdoorsy she doesn't look like a lumberjack at all. The judges pass her along but I'm a little underwhelmed, especially compared to Austin.

A quick threesome: Keith, Michael (who looks like he just walked in from a missionary gig but has a lovely voice), and Tessa. She has a big voice and JLo calls her a star, but she has a harsh edge to her tone and I don't care for her voice. All three go on. Hmph. 

Alex Preston is a surprise. He comes across as a very young 20 year old and the set up had me braced for awfulness, but he can sing, and his original song is not terrible (maybe even good). He has some bad habits and needs a makeover and stage training, but he's got something. Might end up being a more of a songwriter, but I do think he's one of the more genuinely talented musicians we've seen. The call to his mom at the end was way cute.

Who wears a fanny pack well? One has to admire the sheer naivete, perhaps. Samantha is an original, but I really don't see her thriving in this competition. It requires real savvy to go far, and if you're going to be that original (read, eccentric) you have to blow everyone else out of the water with your skills (remember Casey with his stand up bass?). This girl, not so much.

Julie Awful needs to learn how to come back with quick quips about her name--Awful Good, Awful Awesome, come on, girl. Awful pretty, with her blue blue eyes and white blonde hair, I sort of liked her voice in the approximately 3 whole seconds we heard of it.

Lebryant just oozes charm. Oh my, dimples and a wink and everything. Pity his voice isn't just a bit stronger.

Laurel Wright has such a pretty tone, and she looks like pure Americana. She seemed pretty low energy, but it might have been just the song or the audition nerves or something.

D.J. obviously spends considerable time every day messing up his hair. He might be better off spending time in lessons.  I really don't like anything about his voice. It's harsh, he slides off key, just ick. JLo loves it. Sigh.

Kenzie Hall barely clears my No 15 Year Olds Rule, but I really like her. She has an interesting voice, good power, good range, and she performs. She's such a cutie. HCJ swoons over her guitar playing because she throws in a diminished chord. Awesome.

Paisley Van Patten. Now that is a name, and she's got a voice to go with it. Really thick tone, she sings on key (though I hate the song), and she just sings really well. And then she does a Cher impression.

Chase has amazing hair. That's really all I can say for him. And then there's the blue-haired girl, who should maybe stick to modeling.

Jocelyn, however, can sing, and then she squeals all over when she gets sent to Hollywood. Blake has the old cowboy sound, which ain't my favorite. 

CJ Harris comes across as so genuine, and earnest. He's just so appealing--not that he's all that polished and perfect, but I can see why JLo keeps saying "I really liked it." HCJ calls it a vibe that's really pleasant, and I can get behind that. His girlfriend looks sweet. I like him. I hope he proves out to have an actual voice and talent.

Tiquila is a riot. She's a big girl in every way. She's got that big gospel voice, a big smile, a big pile of blush on her cheeks, a big dose of charm and energy. She's one of the few who can cover Adele without instantly sounding like a huge mistake. It takes 2 or 3 seconds before the mistake comes through... Adele never sounds like she's screeching. There's a real difference between having a powerful rasp and forcing the voice. Plus I don't think she's got the gift for phrasing that Adele has.

Jessica Bassett has a very, very pretty voice. Soft and charming, but they turn her down and say she's not ready. I hope she comes back, maybe after her braces are off. JLo complains, and for once she might not just be being nice.

Emily sings with a break in her voice, which is an interesting mix with her deep tone. 

They have a dog trainer/farmer who does bird calls. Dexter Roberts is kind of hilarious. Oh boy, he's a natural made country singer, and we all know how AI loves nothing more than a country singer. His guitar is too loud but we'll see how he does down the road.

Briston Maroney is a 15 year old with an awesome guitar. Too young, obviously--he's been palying a "long time, five or six years."  Insert eyeroll. Keith loves the guitar. The thing is, he sounds like a fifteen year old. I think Keith is going to vote for the guitar all the way through. This kid doesn't even know who he is yet. Why don't they let him go off and live for a few years first? Argh.

Fish, Sabrina, and Carson are another threesome. Carsson cracks me up. What a big voice, but he is in no way ready. Sabrian sounds like kareoke. Fish has personality and a pretty nice voice. And, apparently, an entire mob waiting to celebrate with him.

Johnny is another kareoke singer. He's cute and talented but not an artist. I like his second song more, plus kudos for singing well when he's got so much on the line.

Some of the funniest parts of this show are the looks on the judges' faces when a singer is unexpectedly awful. They try really hard not to pull a face right in front of the auditioner, which is kind of them, but no one is fooled.

Confession: I have no idea who the Sugar Hill Gang is. Are? Apparently some big deal. Carmen's dad was in it, which seems to be very exciting. I don't know if her dad can sing, but she cannot, at least not very well. It's like she sings without a direction.

Kassandra (who arguably spells her name correctly) has a really lovely, low voice. And it's not quite fully kareoke, which is my word of the evening, and HCJ calls her out on the runs again.

Kenneth sings Swing Low, which is one of my favorite songs in the world. He doesn't have a particularly huge or warm voice, sadly. I hear Paul Robeson in my head, singing that song, and Kenneth isn't in the same universe.

Casey is "between living situations," which sounds a lot like "homeless and crashing with family" to me. Seems like a nice guy with two very cute little kids. AI wants us all to fall in love, and it's not above manipulating us into it, but he seems like a nice guy. There's no mention of the mother of his kids, which raises a few questions. Is AI salting away some sob stories? I like that he strums the guitar and then sings without it, and sings pretty well (not fantastic, but passable). He's another country boy so he could gain a lot of fans.

Austin and CJ were the standouts to me, honorable mention to Kenzie. I do think the judges sent more than a few people on who should have gone home instead. And I'm not saying that merely because I'm cranky.

OneTwoThreeDEATH!

The Oatmeal contains material that is far, far more entertaining than the cereal.  The cereal is drek. A comic about a deadly shrimp is pretty hilarious. There's also one about a dead parrot, obviously a must-read.

The knee is getting better, a bit at a time. Have I mentioned that the goal is to have it mostly healed just in time for surgery to send me back to zero? Yeah. I'm trying not to think about that, and just enjoying being able to get on the exercise bike for half an hour a day. I might tackle the whole walk to work next week. 

Motown Sings

Oh, Detroit. Such a history, such adversity. By comparison, Atlanta... well. I'm biased. Anyway, I'm combining two nights of audtions into one post.

First the Detroit auditions. 

Keri Roche has a heck of a voice, and big points for singing Etta James. She looks as though she's had some real life experience, and still comes across as very sweet. And Keith mentions fragels! YES! Anyway, back to Keri. I really like the tone in her voice, and the easy quality she's got even when she's going up to the high notes. It'll be interesting to see her next to pink-hair girl from Atlanta. Oops, getting ahead of myself. 

There are real singers here in Detroit, people with more musical depth than the latest Carrie Underwood song (that is--any musical depth at all). When I lived there, there were blues shows on the radio, and oldies stretching back to Chuck Berry and before, so you could hear the roots. And there was alternative, and rock n' roll, and everything else. So flipping through the dial you could get a half decent musical education, especially if you were a bit of an insomniac. 

I don't like Julian's voice. I'm massively underwhelmed, unlike Keith, but he does have a charming presence.

Another threesome, and only Olivia Diamond stands out to me (great name). It's not my favorite type of voice, as she can sound shouty and lacking in control, but she seems like a throwback and my nostalgic self likes that.

Malaya, a cute little girl with the glasses and the braces, is an example of what I Detroit roots coming through in a voice. Smart song choice, and in her voice you hear that she's listened to her fair share of Motown. And then they show her with her dad, awwww. So sweet. I'm still completely against 15 year olds in this competition, but she really is both adorable and extremely talented--and so bubbly! We'll see how she holds up but she sure is fun to watch.

I suspect that's still true, and oh my it's a joy to hear some young singers who have, clearly, grown up on real music.

And then some nice boy from Georgia (Bryan Watt) shows up singing... Carrie Underwood. Oh, people. Try, do try, to at least find a song with an interesting melody. Cute Georgia boy is cute, but doesn't move me. Keith, of course, loves it. A wee bit predictable, that one.

"Khristian"--now this is ridiculous, but I suspect there are many, many contestants who have all the same problems. Fakery, overweening ambition, insensitivity, lack of musicality.  Ugh. I can't believe they sent her to the next stage. Do you think she's never heard a harsh word in her life? Yeesh.

Jena Asciutto needs to think about song choice (again, melody is important when you're singing a capella) and I'm not crazy about her voice.  Again with the shouty. But she's listening hard to HCJ, which is smart. She definitely reminds me of some girls in my high school, by the way. 

Melanie--who ended up in Detroit by flying--seems to be another Haley. Wild curly blonde hair, raspy voice, parent is a musician... It's a little freaky. She sings Give Me Fever, which I love as a song choice, and I really like what she does with the guitar.  JLo and her "safe choices" comment I find mystifying.  And then Melanie sings Wanted Dead or Alive, huh. And the judges loooooooove it. This one is a standout talent. I hope she sticks around for a while, and she strikes me as someone with enough real musical background to do so.

HCJ is going to make me die laughing, then he turns around and gives absolutely solid advice.

Jade Lathan, oh my, such a cutie and then sings Amy Winehouse, and not too bad. I want to see what else she can sing, and if she has any versatility, but I liked her audition and if she does have versatility I think she could go pretty far.  Really, this is turning into a parade of adorable girls.

I have to give props to the kid who sang while Keith played his guitar. That's not easy, singing with someone you've never performed with before.

Sarah S. has a nice big voice (though not my favorite), and she's a pretty girl, and she can roll with the judges' craziness. Could be a good one, especially if her self-possession holds up.

Sydney singing that Minnie song that every soprano wrecks her voice on. Nope (imo, everyone else is giving her a pass on whistling the top note, which I deem bogus, but then I've actually hit that note so I get to be snarky about it). The judges send her along. She's another adorable one but I doubt she's finalist material.

Maurice! has four kids! And he has a nice voice. His kids are way too cute. And back to Maurice's voice: he's got power, but he knows how to dial it back and doesn't have to belt everything or put on all the frills. I like it. HCJ liked it. We all like it. And it's family fest. Sweetness overload.

I like it when people try again after being cut. I like the perseverance. David Oliver can sing and play and he's really appealing. HCJ is right that his guitar playing was driving the vocal, but if he can put the guitar down and still do it then he could go far.

Brandi is another repeat and her makeup is so distracting. Her face is a completely different color than the rest of her, and so shiny! It was so distracting, I can't tell you how well she sang. Fantastically, according to the judges. Best part of this audition: HCJ quoting the song lyrics "she's a nice girl, what a fine wife she would be..."

The lost Osmond boy, Ronnie. I mean Ethan. Ho hum. I mean, probably just too young and sheltered to be very interesting. I wasn't thrilled by his singing either, so basically I've taken an instant and irrational dislike of him. JLo cracks me up with the way she cuts short the nattering by HCJ and Keith.

Another threesome. Leah I kind of like, Zach bores me but it may be more the fault of the editing than his singing, and who names their daughter Symphony? I protest! And I despise her shouty, harsh-edged voice with all the bad habits. Ick.

Ayla is adorable but has a little more behind it. Intelligence maybe? A little more experience? A sassy sense of humor for sure. She's got a nice, flexible, powerful voice. She picked a song that let her demonstrate her agility, smart.

Eric actually has a rather nice voice, but I'm distracted by his weird looks and scruffiness. I'm shallow. There. I admit it. He's sweet with his wife though, so I'm softening a little.

Ryan Nesbitt makes a really unusual song choice, and it's not a song I like at all, but it's rather a smart choice for a guy with that kind of insane, light falsetto. He does have a Johnny Depp thing going for him, even though I'm very anti-moustache-and-goatee. His sense of style, his smarts, and his voice could really take him places.

Melanie and Keri were the best, honorable mention to Malaya, Ayla (honorable plus), and Ryan Nesbitt.

And now, Atlanta. The only one I remembered the next day was the pink-haired girl who sang Blue-Eyed Lie. But anyway, Atlanta starts off cute with Majesty, who has a very pretty voice. Mostly. I think the guitar is bigger than she is. She's smart to not shout the whole song, because she nearly slips into shouting at one point and it's not a great sound.

The gas station attendant from Kentucky is loveable seeming, but I don't think his voice is good enough to overcome the non-AI vibe he's got. He's got no magnetism, which is a pity. He's awfully happy to go to Hollywood.

Chris Medina has a beautiful dog and a very nice voice. He seems like a quiet, decent guy who is, perhaps, too reserved to be a great performer. This whole audition is way more about the dog than the very nice kid.

A gorgeous girl, Kristen O'Conner, looks astonishingly like one of my brother's ex-girlfriends, altough she seems much nicer. Anyway. They edit the show so she's talking over most of her audition, but she seems to have some range and power and a megawatt smile. She's likely to survive for a while. I mean, gorgeousness helps.

Emily Piriz is also talking over her audition. Argh. I hate what I can hear of her audition song, but that's a song choice issue. MELODY. Have I mentioned the importance of choosing an audition song with an actual melody?

Ben Briley sounds like a throwback, kinda. It's not a pop-country voice, which is a nice relief, but he's not *trying* to sound old-timey either, if that makes sense. And unlike the gas station attendant, he's got a very watchable quality. Plus, what a sweet relationship he seems to have with his wife. Very cute.

Nica sings Natural Woman. Unless you're Aretha, or maybe Whitney Houston, do not do not do NOT sing this song. It will betray any tendency you have to force a note by shouting it. This does not a lovely sound make.

Jordan Brisbane is a great singer for a 15 year old boy, and he's totally charming. But he's 15. Have I beaten this dead horse enough yet? HCJ is right, others do runs better, and he should come back in 10 years. But no, they send him on to Hollywood. He *looks* like he's paying attention to the judges' advice, though, which could be a good sign.

I'm not a fan of Sam. He looks like a guy who's used to getting what he wants by being cute. Now he may be the nicest guy in the world, but his audition song is very gimmicky. Can he do more? He's a ham. It's not a bad voice, but as HCJ points out, he has a weird way of pronouncing words when he sings.

Jessica Meuse, aka the pink-haired girl! From Slapout Alabama. Pretty face somewhere under all that makeup, good poise, and her original song is *excellent.* Note, it has a melody. Keith describes her as like Stevie Nicks, and he's somewhat on to something there, but maybe more like Heart. It's not a super warm voice, she might have more of a future as a song writer than performer, but I really do like her a lot. She seems very talented, dedicated, and down to earth. She does provoke in me a strong urge to reach for the makeup remover, but I love how surprised and thrilled she looks to get sent to Hollywood.

Lauren has spent her childhood listening to Reba and the like. So this is really not my style of voice, and it sounds ot me like she slides off the pitch, especially at the ends of her range, although Keith compliments her pitch so what do I know? HCJ calls her out on overdoing her look, and then Keith calls her authentic. Hmm.

Neco Starr is a rerun. I mean, a returnee. I like the power and control he's got, and he's got boy band looks.

Caleb Johnson sings like a rocker, which is to say he doesn't really strike one as a singer. Can he do more than shouting out the rock n' roll?

Bria Anai is so pretty, even with the ridiculous purple sparkly lipstick. I mean, really. It's a bit much. She's all sparkly and bubbly as only a 15 year old can be. Argh. Big big voice, though, and she knows how to infuse some dynamics into her singing. Really nice vibrato too, when her voice just flows out of her. So, consider my rant against the infant brigade inserted here, recognize that she's better than most of her peers, and see her in Hollywood.  Let me say this: she could bury Amber from last season. 

 Jess and Bria were probably the best, honorable mention to Ben Briley.

There. I got this done before the next show... just barely.